Sunday, February 28, 2010

Nobody every reads this anyway...

but since there is a chance that certain people may read this one day, or that people who know people will read this and get back to them- I cannot vent. S0, I shall just tell my Jesus story and my thoughts on Small Group tonight--

My Jesus loves me sooooooooooooooooooooooooo much- that even when I am having a bad day- He still loves me, and shows His love through music and through kind words. Like tonight, I just so happened to have my iTunes playing and Casting Crowns, Praise You in This Storm, came on. What a song at a time like this. A time I was upset, angry, flustered, ready to just quit and go to bed.

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away


I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

That is all I can do right now-- just praise Him in this storm! As much as this life is throwing at me, as much chaos and emotions... the "I'm with you" gives me goose bumps! My God, my Savior! He loves me enough to comfort me in times like this- and to love me when times are just as good.

Quote of the day "If you are trying to be more like her, and she is trying to be like Jesus; then why don't you cut out the middle man and just be like Christ?"

That quote was said tonight in Small group- A-MA-zing! How many times in our lives do we try to impersonate people? Especially celebrities we like, or other people in our lives, Moms and Dads, aunts and uncles, grandmothers and grandfathers. All these people in our lives aren't perfect (not saying they aren't great people! just not perfect) So why not just cut out that middle man- so to speak- cut it out completely and just be like Jesus- the Todd Agnew song "My Jesus" is playing now on my iTunes- woah- coincidence? egh-- let's see--

Which Jesus do you follow?
Which Jesus do you serve?
If Ephesians says to imitate Christ
Then why do you look so much like the world?

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the arrogant
So which one do you want to be?

Blessed are the poor in spirit
Or do we pray to be blessed with the wealth of this land
Blessed are they that hunger and thirst for righteousness
Or do we ache for another taste of this world of shifting sand

Cause my Jesus bled and died for my sins
He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liars
He loved the poor and accosted the rich
So which one do you want to be?

Who is this that you follow
This picture of the American dream
If Jesus was here would you walk right by on the other side or fall down and worship at His holy feet

Pretty blue eyes and curly brown hair and a clear complexion
Is how you see Him as He dies for Your sins
But the Word says He was battered and scarred
Or did you miss that part
Sometimes I doubt we'd recognize Him

Cause my Jesus bled and died
He spent His time with thieves and the least of these
He loved the poor and accosted the comfortable
So which one do you want to be?

Cause my Jesus would never be accepted in my church
The blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet
But He reaches for the hurting and despises the proud
I think He'd prefer Beale St. to the stained glass crowd
And I know that He can hear me if I cry out loud

I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!

Not a posterchild for American prosperity, but like my Jesus
You see I'm tired of living for success and popularity
I want to be like my Jesus but I'm not sure what that means to be like You Jesus
Cause You said to live like You, love like You but then You died for me
Can I be like You Jesus?
I want to be like you Jesus!
I want to be like my Jesus!

That is my prayer--
Dear God,

Thank you for everything. I want to thank you for loving me, for caring for me, for holding me close, for giving me grace and mercy I did not deserve. I pray dear Lord that you hold my heart tonight. It is heavy with the chaos of this world. I pray that you hold it close to your own, that my heart becomes with one beat to yours. I want to be like you- I want to be like my Jesus! I want to be like Him. I want to be good and faithful servant. I want to be persecuted for my faith. I want to be so strong in my faith that the winds and waves that surround me can't touch me because I am so focused on you, Jesus. You are my focus, You are my desire. Though the things of this world try to bring me down, I just need to focus on You- and You will settle the storm. Why will you? Because you promised to, that's why! You promised never to leave me, never to forsake me, never to abandon me. You are my Jesus, my God, My savior- who bled and died for me-- DIED for me!? Gave up His life for me- I owe my life to you for that sole purpose! You love me enough to die for me, so how can I not die to my selfish ambitions daily and simply follow you. God that is my prayer, that you break me- break me, mold me into the person you want me to be on this earth- I pray that you do whatever it takes to make me into that person- that person who is sold out for the cross- I don't know what that looks like yet- I have an idea- but God I pray that you don't use my idea- I pray that you use me- that is all- use me- not my ideas- just me. God you are amazing, incredible, indescribable- I love you.

In Jesus name,

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Valentine's Day... Hmmm...

Hmmm... The title of the post says it all.

The day celebrating Saint Valentine. Last monday night while I was watching Big Bang Theory- one of the funniest shows on TV- Sheldon made the comment, "I don't understand the concept of Valentine's Day. I think you should take your significant other to a beheading makes more sense than that of the socially accepted sweets and a cuddly teddy bear."

How thoughtful of Sheldon- I mean, Geoffery Chaucer was the first one to actually do "Valentine's Day" as we do it today- with the romantic theme.

One day out of the year- we, as a hopeless romantic society, spend countless hours making home-made Valentine's, writing love notes, or (on the other hand) rush to the store on February 13th to get those last minute sweets and teddy bears.

I have to admit, I do enjoy Valentine's Day... with or without an actual "Valentine." Lots of great songs on the radio, great movies on TV, lots of cheap candy on Monday! (And not to mention the Olympics!!!) And it is interesting to go through one of my few Valentine's Day as a single guy. It's been my first in awhile... and "awhile" = 192046 years. OKAY OKAY, maybe 5 (but who's counting anyway?) Today was amazing none the less--

Sunday School- 4 great senior high guys
Micky D's
Working at the house :) (almost done!!!)
Small group
Cookie Cake

All in all- the makings of a great day!

Dear God,
Woah! What a day- You are truly amazing. In everything You do, in my life, around my life, and all things that have nothing to do with my life. There are soooo many things that I have no ability to imagine that You do and have control over. Amazing. Thank you. Thanking you tonight seems like it doesn't even come close to what you deserve. You deserve our every breath, our every thought, prayer, motion... You created us, saved us, loved us! God, You are so good. Perfect! I pray that you open my heart to what You have in store for my life. For whatever is in store, I pray that you open my eyes to see things as You see them.

All these things in Jesus' name,

Monday, February 8, 2010

"Super" Sunday

Wow! It has been too long since my last blog!! But yesterday was too awesome not to blog about it!

1st off- Sunday School! Record set for the senior high guys, all 11 of them! It was a great lesson. The group really got in-depth talking about Jesus's first miracle-- Water into Wine... Yea, the wine part got them talking about "is it right, is it wrong, what kind of wine, why would Jesus make wine, what would he make today?" Good times

Then, Zach and I went to the driving range... Now, we go to this driving range probably once a month during golf season. It's fairly nice- and cheap! Well today, of all the days I don't have correct change, the man in charge isn't there. There is a "honesty box" where you put your money in there and take the bucked of balls- Zach and I hit 2 $5 buckets- I left a $20. I figure it's better to give the man more than to steal a bucket of golf balls. So- 20 bucks to hit some white little balls- o boy!

PEYTON MANNING AND THE COLTS TIME!!! I was so excited to see Peyton make it back to the Super Bowl, especially after Tony Dungy "retired". I was pulling for them the whole way- the game looked good- we're gonna win---- until that INTERCEPTION!! geez Peyton, even though you're from that area, you could've thrown a little bit more inside! But overall, it was a good game- and the Saints deserve it. As much as I don't want to admit it- they did play really well, and Drew Brees is an awesome QB. Mardi Gras = Super Bowl Party in 2010! There was a bit turn out at the "party." I would say 25ish or so people. I'm still trying to figure out how many people a "ish" is... but when I do- that'll be in a blog I'm sure.

The best part about "Super Sunday" which made it supppppppppppppppppppper- my dad finally got home from Sri Lanka! He had been gone for 10 days on business. Mama was pretty excited to see him back to. She said she could finally go to sleep at night. My dad always brings us back stuff- this time was no different. Zach, Mom, and I all got shirts- lots and lots of "Sri Lanka" shirts! Then my dad got me some of the local news papers! (they're in English!!) Mom got some stones- they're pretty, don't get me wrong, but I'm not much of an "ooo" and "ahhh" -er. I'll give my old man some credit- the stones were HUGE and nice, and of course Mama loved them! It is a great feeling to have Dad back home.

Good phrase of the day- "even after the storm- there is always a rainbow at the end."

Dear God,
Wow, what a weekend, what a day! Thank you for all that you have blessed my life with. You have put certain abilities, people, events, every single detail of my life into order. YOU are in control of each and every part of my life! I pray that I can keep that on my heart as I go through each and every day- honoring you with my actions and thoughts. God, you know my heart. You know what I am struggling with. I know you are there to guide me- each and every step- I just have to listen and GO. Thank you for allowing my dad to return home safely. Thank you for letting him be Your shining light in Sri Lanka. They have no idea who you are over there- they don't know of your goodness, your greatness, your awesomeness, your LOVE! I pray that my dad, as well as some of the people he was with- saw a little bit of you these past 10 days and that my dad was salt and light for You. I pray that you keep a look on my family- especially Grandmother. She is coming to praise you in Heaven soon- She's about to have one HUGEEEEE mansion and lots and lots of crowns :)

All this I ask in Jesus name,

Friday, August 28, 2009

Mixed Emotions

Wow... with everyone going back to school and each and every person in my life going a million zillion miles an hour... just wow... that I have time to sit, and think, and enjoy what is left of this summer...

I say I have mixed emotions about this weekend. I say "mixed" because I don't know what other words describe it. I say this in the hopes of something pops out of the screen and hits me like a freight train... I know My God is big enough for this weekend! If I know that, then why should I have mixed emotions about this weekend???? My Savior, My GOD, MY REDEEMER, MY BEST FRIEND, MY ONE AND ONLY WAY OF SALVATION! CHRIST JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This weekend is going to rock everyone's socks off! We've built it up and up and all we can do is pray that God takes over this weekend, that He just simply shows off like only He can...

Dear God,
I just want to thank you. Thank you for loving me... thank you for dying for me! Thank you for loving me enough to send your son for me... I could never be more in debt for the price that was paid just for me to be saved... Jesus, you are my best friend, I pray that this weekend, I can show you off .... I want to be able to lift you up like I have never done before... This weekend is different than Ignite... I was hesitant, I was holding back, I was the road block and yet, YOU still moved, You moved me, the kids, the leaders, everyone involved, God, you are truly amazing and wonderful and awestruck and Jehovah... my Jesus, you... you love me... that love that no one else can take away from me, that hope that is within me, no one can take that away from me, there is something about the way I'm thinking, the way I'm praying God that You are setting something up... you are preparing a way for me this weekend... God I feel your presence, I know you are with me... my mixed emotions are gone... I'm full force, ready for this weekend... all because of YOU, all because you are my force, my refuge, my redeemer, my Christ... I love you Jesus, I trust you...
In your precious, sweet, love-filled name,
I just pray that you open my heart this weekend,

Saturday, August 22, 2009

I'm not the driver here... promise!

You would think I would blog more often... but I haven't... sorry blog readers! haha (all 4 of you...)

So, I'm playing golf tomorrow!!! My first time ever playing golf (a whole 18 holes and everything!) Should be in for an interesting, funny time!!!

Everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY!!!, is back in school, except for me :( I don't go back for another 2 weeks!!!! I'm still hangin out with friends, but not as much as before school :(

--Side note--
Final Desination- not scary at all! Just weird and creepy!!!!!!!!!!!1

This song has been the story of this summer, or more precisely, the past 2 weeks::
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You
While I'm waiting
I will worship
While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Waiting... patiently... this is sooooooooooo hard!!! There are so many things going on in my life, so many new people, new experiences, new life changes... My God is so much biggger than all my worries, my doubts... He knows exactly what I need, where I am going, and every single little detail in my life... EVERY SINGLE DETAIL!!!!!! Then what's there to worry about? Nothing!!!
Ah... what a sigh of relief, to type that, and think on that for a moment... every detail is figured out by an all-knowing God!!! Anything from eating, talking, dating...

I guess this is what has gotten me thinking... I feel like I'm in the dark. I know God is there, carrying me through this time in my life... I just can't see where I'm going... and it shouldn't matter, I know God has a plan and a purpose for my life, so the future, or even the immediate future shouldn't matter, I just want to see something, I want to see where I am going.. it's like in a car, if I'm in the back seat, I have to see where we're going, or I get to feeling funny- kinda car sick, kinda not. But I know that I know that I know that my God is bigger than this doubt, bigger than my worries... He is carrying me through this, and it doesn't matter what, who, where, how, anything goes...

Dear God,
I pray that you open my heart. Open my heart to understanding, to knowing what You want for me. I pray that you take my worries away. Take my insignificant thoughts about being in the dark away. God, You are sooo much bigger than any problem I face, any issue I come across. So many times I fall short. I fall on my face everytime I try on my own. I thank you for picking me up, brushing me off, and putting me back on track. You are awesome! I love you Jesus!!! I trust you Jesus!!

In Your precious, sweet saving son's name I pray,

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Holy Flippin Cow!

It has been a month since my last blog!???!?!?!?!!

WOW So much has gone on, so little time! Who am I kidding, I have another month before school starts back :)

God has really worn me out... He is wearing me down so much that all I can do is look to Him... I try and I try and I try again and again. I get no where. I go to anybody and everybody, anyone that has two ears to hear, I try to get their help... I don't want to accept the fact that they can't help me... I'm dying... not a physical death, (not that I know of anyway) My spirit... I am so worn out from life, just thinking about this situation, or that situation, or what is going to happen if I do this, or date her, or hang out with them, or party here, or work there... there are soooo many options and soooo many doors and traps in life that I can't handle them all...

A good way to handle this way of thinking::

1.) Deep breath.
2.) Relax. God is in control.
3.) Duh! Jesus!??!? He is flippin sweet!
4.) Fall in love with Jesus and you're good to go...
5.) Jesus takes care of everything after step 4...

I know there are tons and tons of scripture that point to what to do in situations where you are feeling disappointed, or down... for instance, 2 Chronicles 20:15-- Do not be afraid or disappointed, for the battle is not yours, but God's. or what about Jerimiah 29:11 -- for I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper and not to harm, a hope and a future.

These are great... but the verse that sticks out in my head right now is the one that I have written on a rubber band around my wrist... Luke 14:27-- Anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple...

What cross do I have to bear? Sin? I love sin, I'm human, we all do, honestly, the conviction of that love for sin, that's a big cross, a very deep thought, so it's not that bad unless you really think about it... my cross is that daily fight to do what I know is right... the thing that my Savior would say 'well done, my good and faithful servant!" I fail miserable at that, every single day... but by the grace of God, I am forgiven of my short comings and He embraces me with His love... I want to be His disciple, I want to be His child, I want Jesus to be my BFF I want to fall so in love with Jesus that this world can't even think about touching me...

What will it cost me? what will this devotion to Jesus cost? Will it cost me my friends, family, job, education??? What am I willing to give for the cause of the cross? what am I willing to do??? Jesus DIED for me, and what do I do? How can I NOT want to be like Him, serve Him, love Him???

Dear God,
I pray tonight that you open my heart, open my heart to Your will. Open my eyes to the doors before me. Open the doors you want open. Move me, Lord, move me!!! I feel as if a mountain is in the way, and I am stuck in the valley. I know you are with me, and will never forsake me, so I do not fear. I pray that you blow me away with the view at the top of this valley. This valley has many holes and traps, and many "quick routes" to the top. God, you are my only way, You are the reason I want to reach the top. I want to go where you lead me. Lord, lead me... mold me... I pray tonight that You continue to pore Your grace and mercy upon me, that You continue to lead me through this valley, this narrow road through the valley. I pray that I fall more and more in love with my savior, I pray that no matter what this world throws at me, that I do not veer off the track laid before me. I pray dear Jesus that you take me by the hand and show me the way to go.

In your Name, Amen.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

God likes showing off... even in softball

I need to get to the computer more often! I haven't blogged in almost a week!

So much has been going on, so much great a glorious things that my God is showing off with...

Anything and everything, God has completely taken over my life, and I love it!

For example, last night... I was playing some church league softball...
It was a close game... really close... We were winning in the bottom of the 5th 12-6... We made some costly errors in the field, and the score quickly became 12-11, we're still winning... Well, the next batter hits a gapper, the guy from first is going around 3rd and scores, the guy who hit the ball was coming into 3rd. The umpire in the field was covering 2nd, and the home plate umpire was covering home (nobody saw 3rd) I was playing 3rd and got the ball, placed in front of the bag, waited on the slide... TAGGED HIM! BEFORE HE EVER TOUCHED THE BAG! I'm thinking "He's out, we got him, let's go hit!" The umpire in the field had his back to the play, and couldn't overrule the man behind the plate... That umpire came over and yelled "Safe! Around the tag"

I was livid!!! I said "there's no way??? I had the glove waiting on him, the ball even beat him here?!?!"

"No, no. He slid around the base, and then you tagged him."

I would have been fine with a missed call, because the runner was out. But I cannot get over the fact that he LIED about it!! He was behind home plate and makes that call, ridiculous!
The other team ended up scoring 3 more runs, and we were trailing 12-14...

After the inning, I went directly to the umpire in the field and apologized. I felt terrible for calling him out when he couldn't do anything about it. He knew my dad and said "I've chewed your dad out plenty of games, I understand. don't worry about it." Then I went to the umpire behind the plate and apologized to him, I told him " I'm sorry for over reacting, we're human and we all make mistakes, i apologize" he said "it's OK, i saw the play, he was in there, and then you tagged him." i asked him one last time, "after this question, I'm dropping it, 'where were you when you made that call?'" he replied "from me to that pole" (about 35-40 feet) i said "OK, thanks Andy" Being an umpire myself, i knew he hadn't seen that play from 40 feet off... but I dropped it, and continued to play, God gave me the ability to swallow my pride, anger, and attitude to apologize to the umpires... even though I still believe I was right, and they were wrong, they were in charge, and I questioned it...

We ended up losing 18-15 (on some very close fair/foul calls too I might add)

But we still ended up with 3rd place for the season, which ain't too shabby :) We start the post-season tournament this weekend, and we're hoping to have better luck, and bring home the big trophy!